Category Archives: On My Mind

Joy

I sometimes feel obligated to keep up this blog. It’s not as though I’m paid to keep this blog so I can quit at any time I feel like it, but then again, it is an easy way to keep a journal of the things I want to remember and it’s also been a great way to meet new people. Perhaps it’s just the time of year getting the best of me. I’m not depressed, but I feel restless in a way. Unsure of what I want to do with myself because there are too many things I want to do and simply not enough time. Then again, is there every truly enough time?  I wonder if I would still feel there wasn’t enough time if I did somehow manage to get more.  Most likely, yes.  I’m at a point where a big part of me wants to take a step back and lay out the pieces of my life before me and take a tip from Marie Kondo, hold it up and ask if it truly brings me joy.  Granted, what to do if I find too many things bring me joy? Ha!  I suppose I shall then find a way to make time for it all. There’s always time for the things we really love, right?  We just have to learn to make time and more importantly not waste the time we do have. I am absolutely guilty of wasting time, sometimes because I’m exhausted, but other times for no good reason at all.

So, that is what I shall do. I am going to remove all self-imposed obligations for the month of December and rediscover my joys and my “Why.”  If it doesn’t bring me joy, it’s gone. If it does bring me joy then I’m going to make it a higher priority.  Granted, I can’t exactly just stop doing the day to day things that don’t bring me joy, but I’m going to find ways to make it so they don’t take up as much time.  I think decluttering and rearranging is a good place to start. So, if I’m gone for a while, you’ll know why, but I might stop in if I feel like it… and only if I really feel like it.

20161002_144135

Hello, It’s Me…

Funny how I didn’t really pick up my camera at all this week or last and just forgot to post anything last week, so all pictures from this post will not be recent.  It’s that time of year when everything is just crazy and I start to hibernate more and find it harder to motivate myself to do anything but read, cuddle, and watch Netflix. Have you watched The Crown, by the way?  I’m thoroughly enjoying it right now.

The kids started a new preschool this morning, and I won’t lie, I felt my eyes get wet as I watched the uncertainty in Enzo’s face and knew exactly how he felt from my own experiences as a kid starting new schools and feeling so overwhelmed by change.  I’m really hoping that when I go to pick them up I’ll hear only good things. I so want this to work out for both of them since the ideal situation (which would be me staying at home and him going to preschool part-time and Phoebe going next year) just isn’t feasible right now.

So, there’s a lot going on right now and I’m trying to prioritize how I see fit, which means less time blogging and doing a lot of things and trying to focus more on parenting and being with my kiddos and just figuring a few things out and how to make it all happen, you know?  Ideally, by this time next year I will be at home with the kids most of the time (Enzo will be in Kindergarten this time next year) maybe working part-time, and we’d be headed to our little cabin for the week up north (the plan is to get a cabin up north).  Now to just make it all happen, right?

In the meantime, how  about a few pictures from the zoo from a few weeks ago?  I imagine we’ll be there fairly often this winter when we want to go warm up in the Tropics Trail. 😉

fallzoo1

fallzoo2

fallzoo3

fallzoo4

Preserve your memories… they’re all that’s left you.

Bonus points to those who recognize the lyrics in my blog post.

Some days I feel glued to my phone and pulled in a thousand directions.  Some days life feels chaotic and stressful and I feel like if I stop to think about it all I might crumble and fall apart. Then there are days when I turn the sound off my phone and set it aside and just… am.  Sometimes that means sitting quietly somewhere without even a book to distract me.  It’s amazing how many sounds a house can make if you really sit and listen.  With two kids, I’m not often alone in the house, but every Monday I work from home and when I’m finished, I try to take at least 15-20 minutes to just BE while I wait for Josh and the kids to get home.  Some days this means sitting quietly on the couch with my feet up and listening to Ziggy sleep (she occasionally snores) and the sounds of construction happening across the street as well as the random sounds that a house makes while watching dust specks in a ray of sun.

whoopie1

It’s easy to take these moments when I’m on my own, but I’m slowly getting better at remembering to put my phone aside and to shove unwanted thoughts away for a few moments at a time. The other night at dinner I couldn’t get over how grown up Enzo seemed. I don’t recall what exactly everyone was talking about, but I felt a tug at my heart as I watched him. Do you ever have those moments where you’re talking to someone and want to commit every little detail to memory?  It was one of those. I wanted to remember the exact color of his hair and how in the sunlight you can see bits of gold. I wanted to remember the exact blue of his eyes and the mischievous way they sparkle. I wanted to capture his dimple and his smile and for a moment I wanted to just freeze time because every day he gets bigger and bigger and it seems like more and more I forget the tiny little things and I don’t want to forget Enzo at 4 when he still retains just a hint of babyness.

whoopie2

Thank goodness Phoebe is still very much a toddler in so many ways, despite being almost 3 and pretty much a preschooler.  She’s still terribly attached to her nukie and insists on snuggles morning noon and night. Enzo was never a big snuggler and has always been more independent and wanting to do his own thing.  I love their differences and am still in awe that we created these tiny people.

Processed with VSCO

Time is indeed fleeting.

When Less is More

I had my yearly checkup and apparently stress is contributing to slightly high cholesterol. Wee.  How can I be old enough to worry about crap like that?  Oh wait, I shouldn’t worry… that’ll just make it worse. There’s been a lot going on, to say the least and I’m stretched pretty thin lately. I haven’t picked up my camera lately and seem not to have time to keep the house clean between one thing and another. So… I need to re-prioritize and I think that means blogging less. I think for a few months I need to completely focus on my work endeavors and then see where I’m at.  With so little time I like to focus on my family when I can and my own personal needs, so… yeah.

As far as the kids go, despite there being more stress and chaos in the house than usual, Enzo has been doing great in preschool lately, which also seems to coincide with his preschool teacher leaving and a new teacher stepping in.  He’s been having so many good days and has been bringing home more worksheets and seems to be learning more.  I can’t even tell you what a relief that is.

Comfort2

Things I want to remember about right now.

  • Enzo
    • Has an ongoing imaginary game/story where we travel to outer space. Typically it’s him, me and Phoebe since we usually pretend we’re in a spaceship on the way home from preschool, but now and then Josh is allowed to also come. My job is to drive the spaceship and Enzo is in charge of “Pewing” (sp?) bad aliens. They can usually be found on meteors and Enzo uses a special gun that shoots fish that eat the aliens. The fish also have the powers of expansion to eat and/or destroy anything in our path.
  • Phoebe
    • Has started telling little white lies like asking her if she washed her hands and her saying she did when she very obviously didn’t and other little things like that.
    • Is a tad bossy and adorable at the same time. She often holds up her little hand and will say, “Just one minute” if you ask her to do something.  It’s all in the inflection and hand motion.

Comfort1

With luck this next year will give us much more time together and the current chaos will make it all worthwhile.

I will not adult this weekend. Nope.

I’m kind of done with rain right now, so I’m glad to see that the forecast is nice for this weekend. We don’t have anything planned, but I’m going to try and get a few things done around the house, which unfortunately includes lots of cleaning and washing dishes by hand because our water softener is on the fritz and not working. So we have this awesome white film on EVERYTHING. My hair also feels gross thanks to all the build-up of minerals and whatnot, so it’s not something we can easily live without.  Time to call the repairman.  Also Josh hit debris that fell off of some guy’s trailer this week so the car needs fixing. Thankfully it’s drivable, we’ll just have to rock some duct tape for a while because money doesn’t grow on trees.  If it’s not one thing it’s another, am I right? Oh, and the pictures have nothing to do with anything, really.  It’s random day!

1466262674564

Okay, enough complaining, though I really do miss childhood some days and wish I could just not adult for a month. Don’t you just miss the good ole days when you had zero bills to pay and could do pretty much whatever you wanted during the summer because you didn’t have a job and there was no school? Those were the days. Okay, so they could get a little boring and not being able to drive and having no money could sometimes be a downer.  However, hindsight is everything. If we could have a do-over I’m sure we’d all appreciate those carefree days so much more than we did when we were actually living in the moment.

Rainbow

In the meantime, I’m all for making the moment count now and not sweating the small stuff.  Sure, I could be super stressed about stuff, but instead I’m going to stare out the window on this gloomy day and appreciate that it is Friday.  I’ll pick up my kids from day care and take them home where we’ll hang out and give myself permission to not worry or think about things that “should” worry me because it won’t do any good.  We’re very lucky in that everything seems to work out, so I’m sticking with that attitude and I’m confident that things will in fact be awesome.

SheScoots1

Now, if you’ll excuse me while I go poop rainbows and vomit glitter, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. MAKE IT SO.

download