Category Archives: On My Mind

Random banterings with my significant life partner lover person…

It’s almost daily email strands like this that remind me of our first text conversation before/after our first date. I suppose it’s silly things like this that make our relationship work. It may only be amusing to us, but I’m sharing anyway because it’s my blog, and maybe I’ll want to remember these silly little things later. 😉

From: Josh Shoberg [mailto:blahblahfake@hotmail.com]

SO IMPORTANT HONEY. 😛

From: hshoberg@blahblahalsofake.com

Don’t you yell at me.

From: Josh Shoberg [mailto:blahblahfake@hotmail.com]

Haha I loled. 😛

From: hshoberg@blahblahalsofake.com

I’m not sure what one does when they lole… it sounds painful, though.

From: Josh Shoberg [mailto:blahblahfake@hotmail.com]

It can be. Severe cases need to be treated promptly.

From: hshoberg@blahblahalsofake.com

Can you drive yourself? I hope so…

From: Josh Shoberg [mailto:blahblahfake@hotmail.com]

I can at least attempt it. It could be close but I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry.

From: hshoberg@blahblahalsofake.com

Perhaps. I’d hate for you to wait several hours only to find out that your case was more severe than most. I mean, what kind of trauma would that put the kids through if we got home only to find you on the ground unconscious because you loled.

From: Josh Shoberg [mailto:blahblahfake@hotmail.com]

You’re going to have to do your best to protect them from that. If the Jeep is still in the garage when you get home don’t even mention it. If you have to, just tell them daddy is sleeping. 😛

From: hshoberg@blahblahalsofake.com

Okay… if you’re willing to take that risk. It’s been fun.

From: Josh Shoberg [mailto:blahblahfake@hotmail.com]

Hahaha Yes ma’am! 😛

Ooh, almost time to get ready for my interview!

From: hshoberg@blahblahalsofake.com

Ooh! Good luck!

Balancing Technology & Kids

Try as we might not to fall into the technology trap, it’s hard not to at times with so many handy gadgets. Since the time Enzo was a baby he’s been infatuated with our cell phones, but we held off on letting him use ours for a long time. When we did give in, I had a phone that he couldn’t really access anything on easily, so he’d just talk on it and that was it. Then he realized our phones did so much more and he wanted to be able to watch videos of himself non-stop, so he’d commandeer our cell phones and not want to give them up. We figured it wouldn’t hurt to just give him my old phone and remove pretty much everything except for the gallery of photos and videos. Our little narcissist could spend hours watching videos of himself. Ha ha.

More recently I decided to put an app on his phone that teaches the alphabet, numbers, shapes, and colors. It’s really simple to use and he loves it. I figure since its educational there isn’t that much harm in it. I am aware of the articles out there that warn against the dangers of too much screen time (mostly TV) for young kids, but we do try and keep it to a minimum. We don’t have cable and for a long time even if Enzo wanted to watch a show he would only watch about 5 minutes and then run around – we realized he just liked the noise in the background.

Times are changing, though, and he’s paying more attention to what he watches, which means we also need to be more aware of how often the TV is on. We also discovered that while Enzo never really noticed the TV as a baby, Phoebe is very aware and easily distracted by the magical screen when it’s on. Some mornings we bribe Enzo with Bob the Builder or Thomas when he doesn’t want to get dressed and Phoebe will roll over and look up at the TV or if I position her facing away from it, she’ll look at it upside down or try to scoot so she can see what’s on. It’s pretty funny, but it makes me realize we’ll need to be much more aware this time around so that Phoebe isn’t overexposed.

One thing Josh and I have definitely agreed on is that neither kiddo will have their own TVs in their rooms until they’re much older and tablets and other technology will be something we monitor closely and won’t allow them to use on a regular basis. We appreciate that in this day and age it’s beneficial that they know how to use these items, but it doesn’t mean we want them attached to a screen all the time either. Just another reason that Josh and I have decided we need to put our own phones down in the evenings until after the kids go to bed (minus a quick photo snap here and there). 😉

Weekly Prompt: Hindsight

I am once again participating in Sometimes Sweet’s weekly journal prompts, and this week the prompt is:

They say hindsight is 20/20, and with good reason- looking back at something always gives us a better view. We’re often able to really see how our choices and decisions then shaped our today, and examine what we would have done differently given the chance. When looking back though, we often look way back, but for this exercise stay a little closer to present time and look back just 12 months. If you could go back just one year, what would you tell yourself? What advice would you offer about everything you’ve experienced?

Without a doubt, hindsight is 20/20, and I know looking back there are plenty of things that I would do differently, but as I’ve grown older, I’ve tried to not focus so much on what would have happened if I would have made a different decision. Everything that has happened has made me who I am today, including both good and bad decisions, and it sends my head into dizzying circles thinking about what would be different if I hadn’t done one thing or another.

That being said, I think there is one big thing this past year that I might have done differently, and if I could go back, I would probably tell myself one thing… Wait. While we had talked for a while about moving from our much smaller townhome and it wasn’t really a last minute plan, I think we should have waited on buying our current house. We had looked into moving out of state entirely, but that plan wasn’t lining up, so instead we bought a larger more local house. We had another baby on the way and were slightly concerned about space, plus we kept hearing that it was a “Seller’s Market,” so we made a decision to stay in Minnesota for a while longer. This winter has made us rethink that choice. We knew that we’d have to deal with winter, but so far we’ve had over 50 days of sub-zero temperatures and we’re kind of done with it.

If we had held out in our townhome, we would have more in savings and would probably be able to explore other places before finally choosing our next , more permanent destination. With a bigger home like we have now, we have a bigger mortgage and higher utility bills, so we aren’t able to put as much into savings as we’d like. Granted, we also spend more money on frivolous things then we need to. I may or may not have a minor shopping problem and love spending money on our kids. So sue me.

However, that being said, with how bad this winter has been, I can’t imagine still being in our much smaller townhome. We would have had to fit two cribs in one really small room, or more than likely not have gotten a crib for Phoebe at all and kept her in our room all the time (which we kind of do now anyway, come to think of it). We also wouldn’t have had nearly as much room for Enzo to run around in, and he is extremely active. Our current house allows us to all spread out and not feel cramped and is therefore much better for gatherings because parents don’t have to trip on kids and vice versa. Another nice thing this past winter has been the shorter drive. In our old house, the road I took was often paved last and there were numerous times I was almost stuck, and then actually stuck on our own street, which I don’t miss at all.

So, there’s that. I’m both happy we have our current house, but also feel a little trapped because we’re not sure we can be Midwesterners for the original 3-5 years we had planned when we moved in 2013. Oh, hindsight. Oh well. Now we just need a new plan. You make the best of what you have (and really, what we have is pretty dang good), so we’re going to have an amazing Spring/Summer and make our house and stay in Minnesota as enjoyable as we possibly can.

Toddler Antics

It’s amazing just how much energy toddlers have. There was a great meme I saw not long ago on FB that summed up exactly how Josh and I feel some evenings. Oh, here it is! I found it very suiting since I’m a LOTR fan.

So true.

This boy rarely sits still, and when he does, it’s usually not long-lasting, though he has his moments where he’ll sit and watch ‘Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood’ or be still while we read a Dr. Seuss book, and those suckers aren’t short. In general, he’s a tornado that has trouble sitting still as evidenced by how quickly he can tear apart his playroom. Some days it’s like he’s possessed because he’ll just start cackling and run around dumping blocks and throwing balls and howling with laughter at the disaster he’s caused. Then when we try and get him to help clean up he finds some excuse not to. Not even two and he’s the master of evading and stall tactics.

We do encourage most of his craziness though, as we find it hilarious and generally really cute how he runs. I’m pretty sure it was his favorite game of chase that possibly sent me into labor with his sister. The night before contractions started I was running around after him and remember feeling like I probably shouldn’t have done that.

[vimeo 87959161 w=500 h=889]

20131110 174509 from Heather Shoberg on Vimeo.

Admittedly, some games should probably be more carefully thought over. Josh often creates new acrobatic games with Enzo and doesn’t tell anyone else, so when we go to pick him up at day care we get to hear about how he almost cracked his head open because one of his teachers wasn’t prepared for Enzo to throw himself out of her arms. I’m also not fond of the human slide game, at least when it’s played on me. Thankfully I’ve convinced him that game is to be played with Daddy only… until he landed on Daddy’s chest with his knees and even Josh had to admit that was a game that he probably shouldn’t have encouraged. 😉
[vimeo 87958718 w=500 h=889]

20140209 183616 from Heather Shoberg on Vimeo.

While I know that Enzo would have loved a brother to play with, I’m kind of hoping our daughter will be a calming influence on him. I can’t imagine two of them tearing through the house at high speeds leaving a trail of destruction behind them. Of course now that I’ve said that, she’ll probably be a daredevil as well what with the way she looks at him with such admiration and amusement.

And on that note, I hear yelling and crying and I think he’s saying, “Stuck,” so that’s probably not good.

Crossroads

Sometimes Sweet is doing a weekly journal prompt, so I thought I would join in on the fun! This week’s prompt? Write about a time you view as a marker in your life; a distinct place where things changed, for better or worse.

I can think of two moments in my life that were completely life changing, and both of them happened within the same year. Thankfully for me, they both ended up being positive experiences, though the events leading up to the first were anything but easy and was a daily struggle. That story, however, is for another day.

In June of 2008 I met a man. Technically I met him a year before that, but didn’t remember it. He tells me that he tried to talk to me, but I was apparently not interested. Whoops. Thankfully for me he decided to try again, and as these were the days of the MySpace he sent me a message asking me out. Throwing caution to the wind, I figured I might as well, even though he had been stalking me at the nearby coffee shop (which I didn’t actually know at this point – I just thought I saw him in there because he also liked coffee, it’s not like I kept running into him in the feminine hygiene aisle at Wal-mart… that would have been awkward). Long story short, he picked me up for lunch, we talked and joked around and set up a second date… for later that same day. We stayed up way too late and watched movies because we apparently both really liked movies.

Within a couple of weeks we decided to make it official and label each other boyfriend and girlfriend and we almost virtually became joined at the hip. Before I knew it he was inviting me to go with him to visit his family in Minnesota for Christmas and suddenly we were talking about living together. At the time, I thought nothing of it, but now looking back I can see why family might have been nervous at how fast things were moving. I wasn’t someone who dated often, but I felt really good about Josh, and was happy with the way things were going.

And then we came to it – a major crossroad. Josh had decided that he wanted to move home to Minnesota from our current location in Colorado… where I had spent the majority of my life, and he wanted to know if I would come along. I vaguely remember when he told me that he wanted to move back, but I do know that my heart sank when he said the words. Our relationship was in early stages, but I knew that I loved him and that he loved me, so I wasn’t surprised that he followed this up with his hope that I would come with him. As much as I loved him, I was immediately torn. I’ve never been one to jump for joy at change, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to leave my entire family and little world behind.

I can’t tell you how long it took for me to make a decision, but I don’t think it was long. I knew I had to take a leap of faith and just believe that everything would work out. I’m not sure who was more surprised that I was taking such a big step to move across the country to the unknown… me or my family. Either way, it was one of the best decisions I could have made. Sure, the first couple of years were tough, but overall the experience has been a good one, and I don’t even want to imagine what my life would have been if I had stayed behind.

Granted, while Minnesota has been good to us, it is not our forever home and we are yet again coming to another crossroad in our lives. We’ve been there before more than once, but tend to make a U-Turn and circle back around. This time I think we’re going to have to just take a chance and risk getting lost. Maybe we’ll find the place we didn’t even know we were looking for.