Category Archives: On My Mind

Things and Stuff.

The weekend was good, but more on that later since pictures are still on my camera. We got out of the house on Saturday for haircuts, but didn’t get out on Sunday since it was drizzly. The dark clouds and the missed nap the day before gave us a grouchy little boy and a sassy little lady. C’est la vie. They might also be picking up on a little stress from their parents. Our downstairs is crazy with boxes and piles everywhere as we try to get everything sorted for our garage sale that starts on Friday. Plus, we keep coming across new things to add, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

All of this decluttering has also made me realize just how much stuff we have and why it’s so important to buy toys on sale unless I am absolutely certain our kids will get a ton of use out of it. This cardboard house I got on super sale, and they played with it a handful of times before Enzo told me he wanted his ball tent back and no more house.

It turns out we also have a lot of the same toys that they have at day care, which is sometimes good, but then also means that they’re often bored with these toys at home and want different ones. I guess I’ll have to coordinate with day care from now on. One thing we have a ton of that they don’t play with are stuffed animals. Some have been handed down and some I lovingly chose before they were born and others have been gifted. Every once in a while they’ll suddenly pull them all out and play with them, but it might be time to let some go and let them choose their own plushy friends when they want to.

However, the best toys are always the toys that aren’t actually toys. Phoebe decided pulling movies off the shelf is especially delightful and therefore Enzo also had to join in. They were quickly reprimanded, but now Phoebe likes to still pull them out because she saw us pulling out random DVDs to sell. I’d like to say it’s because she wants to be helpful, but the naughty grin says otherwise. She gives the same grin right before she starts throwing food, dumping whatever she’s drinking and running away from diaper changes.

I totally get why some people like the minimalist lifestyle, though. So much less to pick up, which makes it easier to keep clean and takes less time to do so… however, I’m a “collector” by nature, as is the man I married, so I can’t imagine us ever becoming minimalists. I’ve heard a lot about The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, though and I’m going to start reading that in the hopes we can find some balance.

Because no one wants to end up on an episode of Hoarders, right?

Mommy brain is real and it never goes away…

At least I don’t think it does… or maybe mommy brain goes away when you finally get to sleep through the night? Can someone confirm or at least give hope? So far I’ve been told it never goes away by friends, family, and coworkers, though, and while I was never a genius by any means, I used to be slightly more well spoken and now it’s highly likely that I’ll forget words randomly in conversation… words that are not difficult by any means, but are elusive for some bizarre reason. Lack of sleep? Quite possibly. Being constantly distracted? Very likely.

Phoebe often enjoys joining me in the bathroom while I get ready, and while I don’t mind the company it always takes me longer than usual since it can be rather distracting while I pull things out of her reach and try to keep her from soaking her pajamas in the sink. This morning I was thoroughly distracted while watching her and instead of grabbing my blush, mistakenly grabbed some very dark eye shadow (similar packaging), but didn’t realize it until it was on my face and looked like I had a massive bruise. Good thing we weren’t running late today. 😉

I’m more forgetful than usual and rely even more heavily on notes now than ever. Thank you smart phones and handy apps to help me keep lists and notes always within reach. Now if only they could make my thoughts always make sense. I can’t even tell you how often I just word vomit nonsense trying to spit something out after a long day. On the plus side, our children both seem very smart, so there’s that? Phoebe is officially in the Toddler room now and her teachers have been telling us every day how focused she is and intent on learning. She has no trouble sitting for long periods of time, and loves to soak it all in. Enzo has a little more trouble sitting quietly during “rug time” but is also really smart and has been a lot more interested in numbers lately and telling us how many of something there are. He even counted to 30 the other day! Well, he may have mixed a few numbers up, but he’s close. :p I call that pretty good for a boy who is constantly go-go-go. I guess I’ll deal with mommy brain and just count on them to consistently put me in my place as they grow older.

Not only is it Good Friday… it’s Great!

My puns are usually for Josh’s benefit since he loves them so. 😉 This week we’ve needed a slight sense of humor, though. Day care is closed today for annual training, so I am home with the kiddos! Josh was originally going to take today off as well, but unfortunately got sick and already took time off this week. So… our plans have changed for the day. Because I’m actually writing this on Thursday, I can’t say for sure what we’ll do with our extra day, but I want our day to be fun. I may clean a little, but I think despite a chill in the air, we should get out and find some fun.

With these two, fun isn’t too hard to find, but I do have to consider a few things when handling them singly. If Enzo is in a stroller then Phoebe will consent to being worn, but if he decides he needs to walk then she will inevitably decide she needs to walk to. This is a problem because she does not stay close and will run if given the option. So… we need to go somewhere where I either don’t need a stroller or somewhere with enough space for both stroller seats but also areas where they can get out together and not get lost in a crowd. Due to the chill and the fact that Phoebe is getting over an ear infection means I also don’t want to spend much time outside. My thinking cap is on.

I suppose it also wouldn’t be the end of the world if we just stayed home all day and made our own fun inside. We can always bake something or find some sort of craft to make… maybe. I’m really not crafty at all, let’s just face it. Maybe it’s time to Pinterest some ideas and then at the very least, perhaps we’ll have some fun Pinterest fails to share. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Getting Back to Basics

Okay, that brief taste of warm Spring weather was really just a mean tease since we’d been mostly in the 30s and 40s ever since. Then we’ll get hit with one or two nice days just to have Mother Nature laugh in our faces and send more cold wind our way. It makes me wonder how on earth mothers didn’t go crazy way back in the day. It seems like it would have been dull and each day would have been filled with drudgery, plus small children underfoot without much to do. Yeah, I’m kind of thankful for all of the comforts we have now.

That being said, kids really don’t need as much as we give them. For instance, give them a ton of blocks to build things with and they will inevitably empty the blocks onto the floor so they can play with the bin/box that was holding them. Plus, the bin becomes even more fun when they have someone else to play with.

I think my favorite part is that Enzo has just as much fun pushing Phoebe around as he does when being the one receiving the ride. I always worry about potential boredom, but I didn’t use to. The kids are always amusing themselves in various ways, and I remember once doing so as well, but at some point that changed and I’m not sure why. The more I think about it, I think the problem may be because there are in fact too many choices. There are so many options when it comes to things I could/should do, that it becomes hard to actually make a decision (which I always have a hard time doing anyway). We sometimes run into this problem when trying to pick a movie – we have so many options that we spend all this time trying to agree on one only to then find out we don’t really have enough time to watch the one we picked.

The more I think about it, the better minimalizing sounds. I think it would be hard to get used to, but in the end would allow us to not feel so overwhelmed by choices, distractions, and general clutter. Creativity is important to both Josh and I, but I think we get too distracted and forego some of our hobbies for mindless timewasting videos and internet surfing or social media. The kids are developing such great imaginations, and I really want to foster that. I think that also means cutting back on TV and technology in general and getting back to basics more.

The Highly Sensitive Person (or parent)

It was around Thursday on our trip that Enzo’s tantrums started to get extreme – some of the worst he’s ever had, and that night was not an easy one. Friday night would prove to be even worse, but we won’t get into it. We were all tired and both kids were just ready to get home to their own beds. This isn’t the first time we’ve encountered major mood swings with Enzo, though.

When Josh used to have to travel for work, if he was gone for longer than 3 days, Enzo would start to get really cranky and start having more intense tantrums than usual. He’s always had intense emotions, and that’s when I started looking into whether or not he’s a Highly Sensitive Child at the suggestion of a coworker. It turns out he may take after me, as I definitely have the characteristics of a Highly Sensitive Person (I scored 20/27).

“A highly sensitive child is one of the fifteen to twenty percent of children born with a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react to everything. This makes them quick to grasp subtle changes, prefer to reflect deeply before acting (hmm… maybe not so much), and generally behave conscientiously. They are also easily overwhelmed by high levels of stimulation, sudden changes, and the emotional distress of others. Because children are a blend of a number of temperament traits, some HSCs are fairly difficult–active, emotionally intense, demanding, and persistent–while others are calm, turned inward, and almost too easy to raise except when they are expected to join a group of children they do not know. But outspoken and fussy or reserved and obedient, all HSCs are sensitive to their emotional and physical environment.” The Highly Sensitive Child

Granted, we could be completely wrong (there are some things on the checklist that are not him at all), but it seems to make some sense considering his moods get very extreme when there are major changes in his environment and he often gets very upset over seemingly small things. It’s definitely tricky because he’s also at an age where most toddlers/pre-schoolers often have tantrums over random things and can easily be set off by hunger or not enough sleep, so my biggest question is what is considered “normal” and what would be considered “extreme.”

I have definitely discovered a lot about myself in just the past week, though, and have come to realize that quite often Enzo and I set each other off because we both feed off each other’s emotions and are often sensitive to the same things, but react in different ways. As an HSP, I can definitely say that the hardest part of parenting for me is the crying/screaming. I am very sensitive to loud noises and they make me very uncomfortable. At times, such as the past week, they are unbearable and that is when I tend to lose it and become slightly irrational and fly off the handle and I hate to say it, but basically have my own tantrums. So his tantrum sets me off, then my reaction sets him off some more. It’s taking a long time to try and figure this all out. Almost every day lately he has at least one bad tantrum. I’ve been able to stay mostly calm for the past couple days, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Little Phoebe gets so upset when she sees her brother upset and it breaks my heart that he is struggling with his emotions and the world around him right now. So…

We are starting therapy/counseling. I’m not an expert, but it does seem like something is off, and there must be a better way to parent him. I know you should never compare your children, but when I look at the difference between Enzo’s tantrums at 15-16 months and Phoebe’s… there’s a definite difference. I would love to be able to help teach Enzo how to calm down in the moment and not let so many things upset him, so we’re (Josh and I) going to do whatever we can to learn how to communicate better between the two of us and in turn figure out the best way to help our kiddo.

(At 16 months old)

That being said, it’s not all bad being a highly sensitive person. I found several websites that focus on the advantages of being highly sensitive rather than the difficulties, and it’s always nicer to hear the positive than the negative, right?

The ability to concentrate deeply
Notice subtleties
Good at tasks requiring attention, accuracy and speed
Able to process material at deeper levels
Able to learn something new without being aware of learning it.
Highly conscientious
Highly empathetic
Creative/Visionary
Intuitive
Soulful/Spiritual

In reality, being highly sensitive is something I consider a strength overall. We all have something we struggle with and have to work at, so my “curses” are just something I have to learn to deal with, and if Enzo is truly the same, we’ll have to learn how to cope and work together. We can’t go through life avoiding everything that makes us uncomfortable or challenges us (and boy does parenting ever challenge you at times).